Toddler Bed Troubles

Some of you already know that we have recently transformed Adi's crib into a toddler bed.  She is 21 months old and I thought it was time to give it a try.  WRONG!  Way to go Mom.  It all started when we went on vacation over Christmas.  We went to Disney World for a week.  Adi slept in a pack'n'play all week, however we were in the same room.  Of course her routine was hard to stick to while we were having so much fun in the parks.  She would nap in the stroller or on someone's shoulder and sometimes didn't get in bed until after midnight. Basically any routine we did have was no longer in place.  After we returned home, she went back to her crib for three nights.  I believe all three nights she ended up in bed with us.  Bad mistake but we were so tired from a week long vacation and just wanted to sleep.  Then, I decided to try taking the front of the crib off making it a toddler bed.  I didn't even think about getting her back in her nightly routine before changing her world.  I didn't realize how big this transition is for a child.  Now I understand after battling bedtime now for weeks.  

Along with this transition, we found out that I had a miscarriage.  I had to have a D&C and Adi could just sense that things weren't right around our house.  She clung to me and I definitely clung to her while grieving.  Now here we are having trouble deciding the right thing to do.  I know every child is different and there are so many different theories out there.  I bought a couple of books and have been praying daily for clarity and guidance.  

Our nightly routine goes something like this:

• eat dinner together around 6:30 
• take a bath
• put on pj's
• have some down time
• brush teeth
• get a sassy and read books in bed
• lights out (closet light on with door cracked)

Bradey or I have to sit next to her bed until she falls asleep.  If we leave the room before she is asleep she cries and frantically gets out of her bed.  She will say, "I don't want my bed."  She has even fallen asleep in her little chair in her room because she doesn't seem to like her new bed.  

Once she is asleep, we leave the room, and she will have many night-wakings.  She needs us again to fall asleep.  So, I'm sure you know the ending to most of our nights, we are all in the same bed.  I know a lot of people are fine with their kids sleeping with them and they move on but we just really would like her to sleep in her own bed and learn to fall asleep on her own.  She used to love going to bed in her crib, slept all night, and so did we.  We just want that for our family once again for everyone's sanity.  

So, here is where you come in.  I need some input.  Here are a few questions that are floating around in my mind waiting for answers.

1.  Do we skip the toddler bed and move her to a twin?

2. Do we continue to stay in her room so she can fall asleep?

3.  Do we attempt the cry-it-out method.?

4. How do we keep her in her bed?

5.  Is there a fear that has developed?

6.  One of our friends loaned us their little toddler bed that you use the crib mattress.  Do we use this instead?

If you have gone through this, please feel free to share your experience.  I would love to hear your thoughts even if you haven't gone through this yet.